When being busy became the new badge of belonging
Somewhere along the way, rest became guilt, and burnout became bragging rights.
We began treating exhaustion as evidence of excellence, replying “Just super busy!” like it’s a trophy. The “hustle culture”the idea that our value is measured by our productivity didn’t just sneak into our calendars; it rewired our self-worth.
At the heart of hustle culture lies a dangerous psychological equation: Self-worth = Productivity = Love and Respect.
It’s a modern version of conditional worth, a concept well-documented in humanistic psychology (Carl Rogers). From an early age, we internalize that love and approval are earned through grades, achievements, and eventually, work output.
Neuroscience shows that every time we tick off a to-do, the brain releases dopamine a reward chemical. Over time, this reward loop becomes addictive. We start chasing the feeling of being useful, rather than the experience of being fulfilled.
The Endless Loop of “Doing More”
Psychologists call it the “competence trap.” The more we achieve, the higher the bar moves. It’s like running on a treadmill that speeds up every time you think of getting off.
And the problem? The body keeps score. Chronic overwork elevates cortisol levels, dulls emotional regulation, and increases anxiety and sleep disorders. You might feel “wired but tired” your mind racing at 2 a.m. while your body begs for rest.
When we meet someone new, we rarely ask “How are you” we ask “What do you do?” Somewhere, our identities fused with our LinkedIn bios.
Many clients I meet say things like:
“If I’m not achieving, I feel worthless.”
“I can’t rest, I feel I’m falling behind.”
This is self-objectification viewing yourself as a machine that produces, not a person who experiences.
Psychologist Dr. Kristin Neff calls this the “performance trap”, where our self-compassion erodes every time we tie worth to output.
The Antidote to Hustle Culture
Replace What do I do” with How do I feel?
Check in with your emotional state, not your task list.
Schedule unproductive hours.
Neuroscience shows that the brain’s default mode network (active during rest) is when creativity and insight emerge. Rest isn’t lazy, it’s incubating genius.
Redefine success in verbs, not numbers.
Instead of saying I achieved, try I learned, I connected, or I healed.
Practice self-worth statements detached from output.
I am enough because I exist not because I produce.
Romanticize slowness.
Take walks without earbuds. Sip tea without multitasking. It’s rebellion in the age of rush Because when the noise fades, and the notifications stop, what’s left isn’t your résumé. It’s your humanness.
And that has always been enough.